11 Funny Reasons Not To Get A Maine Coon
Let me start by saying, I love my Maine Coons to bits. They’re quirky, lovable, and entertaining. But if you’re thinking about bringing one of these majestic fur monsters into your life, let me share some of the less glamorous reasons you might want to think twice!
Here’s a reality check (with some humor) based on my personal experience with these oversized fluff balls. Oh, and I’ve included a photo of my two furbabies below:
Reasons Not To Get A Maine Coon!
1. Think You Have Enough Furniture? Think Again
Remember that cute cat tree you bought? Yeah, that’s just a suggestion to a Maine Coon. Whilst it’s well known that bored or untrained Maine Coons can be destructive, playful Maine Coons can be more so!!
They’ll turn your couch into their personal climbing jungle – I’ve had to buy covers for my sofas where my two Maine Coon brothers enjoy chasing each other across the kitchen, jumping over obstacles as they go!
And don’t get me started on the damage to my formally beautiful wooden floors. They’re a mess as I adopted two timid Maine Coons that used to scoot across the floor like nutters whenever ANY noise scared them!!
If you thought toddlers were destructive, just wait until you see what a 20-pound Maine Coon can do to your home decor. Look at these innocent-looking faces, like butter wouldn’t melt!!
2. Your Bed Will No Longer Be Yours
If you think your child hogs the bed, you’ve clearly never had a Maine Coon. These cats sprawl….!! Imagine a creature that stretches out to twice its size, taking over not only your spot but everyone else’s too.
You’ll wake up clinging to the edge of the mattress, wondering how a cat managed to outmaneuver you for bed space. If I think about it, I’m pretty sure my husband fell out of bed one night as Bali took up so much space!!
You might even find yourself considering a bigger bed just so you can squeeze back in. Trust me, I’ve been there.
And let’s not forget their nightly gymnastics – Pippin used to roll around so much, it’s like he’s training for a cat Olympics event!
3. Get Used To Sitting On The Floor!
Speaking of stealing your spot… have you ever walked into your living room, excited to sit down and relax, only to find your Maine Coon lounging like royalty on your favorite spot?
And good luck trying to move them – Maine Coons are like furry cinder blocks when they’re settled in. Pippin (my first Maine Coon cat) used to give me a warning hiss when I moved him off the sofa into one of his many cat beds!!!
You’ll soon realize that the couch is no longer yours. Instead, you’ll be relegated to the floor, gazing up at your feline overlord, who looks at you as if to say, “This is my seat now.”
4. Wet Socks Will Be A Daily Thing
Maine Coons love water. I thought it was adorable at first, watching them splash around in their water bowl, dipping their giant paws in like they’re at a spa day. But then came the wet socks. Every. Single. Day.
There’s no joy quite like stepping into a cold puddle of water on the floor at 7 a.m. because your Maine Coon decided to have a water fight with themselves.
I’ve become an expert at hopping around the kitchen like it’s a minefield of soggy surprises.
5. They’re Huge AND Hungry
These cats are big. Like, really big. And with that size comes a bigger appetite (and LOTS of cat POOPS!!!). I joke that my grocery bill shot upward after getting my Maine Coons, but it’s not far from the truth.
They eat like they’ve got a fast metabolism (which they don’t), and their food bowls are never full for long. My two little furry friends also have sensitive stomachs so can only tolerate Royal Canin Urinary Dry Food, which is super expensive.
Between the extra food, the giant litter boxes you’ll need, and the heavy-duty cat furniture (because trust me, they’ll break the cheap stuff), be prepared to spend a lot more than you anticipated.
6. They’ll Talk Your Ear Off
If you thought cats were quiet, let me introduce you to the Maine Coon soundtrack. These cats are talkers. And not in the gentle “meow” kind of way – no, they have a whole vocabulary of chirps, trills, and yowls.
It’s cute at first, but when you’re trying to work, sleep, or just have a moment of silence, they’ll be right there, serenading you with their opinions!
Bali, for instance, is convinced that I need hourly updates on the status of his food bowl. Spoiler: it’s never full enough, despite BEING full!!
On the plus side, my two big feline friends do meow ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when I open the door for them!!! Now that IS SMART!!
If you haven’t heard a Maine Coon cat talking first-hand, listen to Mika my blue tabby Maine Coon having a conversation with me on Maine Coon Central’s YouTube channel.
7. They’ll Outsmart You
Maine Coons are smart – almost too smart. My cats have now figured out how to open doors and complete a Complicated Dog Treat Toy.
You can watch Mika teach himself how to get the cat treats in this YouTube video I posted on Maine Coon Central’s YouTube channel. He’s AMAZING!!
I once found Pippin sitting on top of the fridge, looking smug after unlocking the “cat-proof” latch on the pantry. It’s like living with a tiny mastermind who’s always plotting their next move. Good luck keeping anything off-limits.
8. They Act Like Dogs So Maybe Just Buy a Dog!
Maine Coons don’t realize they’re cats. They play fetch, follow you around the house, and greet you at the door like a golden retriever would. You might as well just get a dog!
They also have that same energy level and loyalty, but at least with a dog, there’s no furniture destruction (hopefully). It’s also less likely that you’ll need to phone the fire service to get a dog out of the garden tree!!! haha!
9. Say Goodbye To Your Social Life
Have friends? Not for long! Maine Coons want all your attention, and they don’t care if you’ve got a Zoom meeting or a lunch date.
Leave them alone too long, and you’ll come back to a sulking fluffball that makes you feel like the worst person ever. You’ll be canceling plans left, right, and center just to keep them happy (and avoid more shredded couches).
Who am I kidding? I was never that sociable to begin with!! haha
10. Goodbye Personal Grooming, Hello Cat Grooming!
Do you like brushing your hair? Well, forget that. You’ll be spending all your grooming time on your Maine Coon.
Some of these guys are prone to tangles (my Mika, for sure), and if you skip a day of brushing, you’ll be battling mats and knots that would make Rapunzel blush.
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve sat down to comb my hair, only to be guilt-tripped into grooming my cat instead.
11. Can You Keep Up With Their Kitten Energy?
Maine Coons don’t believe in growing up. They stay kitten-like for most of their lives, which sounds cute until you realize you’ve signed up for years of Zoomies at 3 a.m.
If you’re not ready to keep up with a perpetual ball of energy that will demand playtime well into their senior years, you might be in for a wild ride!
In Conclusion
Don’t get me wrong, I adore my Maine Coons. They bring joy, laughter, and a fair amount of chaos to my life. But before you decide to welcome one into your home, be prepared for the reality that comes with it.
You’ll be buying new furniture, upgrading your bed size, and living with permanent wet socks. And, of course, you’ll be sitting on the floor while your Maine Coon lounges on the couch, probably plotting their next move!
If all of that sounds like a blast to you, by all means, get a Maine Coon! But if you value your social life, furniture, personal grooming time, and bed space, maybe reconsider. 😸
